I've been living on protein shakes in the morning, sometimes a bowl of shredded wheat with red raspberries, mocktails throughout the day, chocolate ice cream for lunch, and frozen fruit in the evening.
One of my favorite fruits when we moved in here was frozen Mango Chunks. We ran out, and on our last big shop I picked up Publics version, which turned out unripe and hard for me to eat.
Now we have the Dole version, which even while frozen, melt in my mouth, I love them. These must have been what we had initially.
So that's my life now, exercising in the Cave, going for up to three walks a day, even more if the dogs want to go. I've taken Zinney out twice today. Then I eat fruit and frozen berries, and sip on healthy drinks until I go to bed.
Beats drinking and making a fool out of myself, after two weeks...
I've put together a few old photos of visits Riley and I took down to Oakdale, CA to visit Shelby and Shelly.
The original photo of Shelby, Riley and John, sat on the table besides my bed in Idaho for well over a decade. It was the first thing I saw when I woke up, and the last image as the light went off at night.
The fact that Shelby and Riley are the two most important people in my life so many years later, is attributable to this moment in time.
I had just returned to my little house in Tennessee, from my first Caribbean cruise, when I experienced this. I had been gone a week, on the Drink Package, so the first thing I did as I walked through the door was grab my bottle of vodka from under the sink and set it on the counter.
I grabbed my cup and filled it with ice from the fridge, then turned around and saw this. From out of nowhere this big beautiful Praying Mantis appeared on the side of the bottles lid.
I grabbed my camera and took several shots, this being my favorite. Then I carried the bottle and the mantis out to my front yard and set him on the tree. I had never seen such a beautiful insect in Tennessee before, and never saw another since.
It was obviously a sign, that I totally ignored. I know that now as I approach two weeks sober tomorrow.
btw: This is the most popular photo on my very large collection of photos on Flickr.
I opened up the new bank account this morning, with a great local branch of Hancock Whitney.
Lola was as great as a lady named Mylola should be, and set me up exactly as I needed, with a wonderful smile on her face throughout. Her husband and 10 and 20 year old sons are very lucky.
So am I, it's great to have a new account, one who's last four digits add up to my angel number of 23.
When I got home I set up bank account access to everything. The next step was to change my Social Security direct deposit from my bank in Idaho, where it's been since I started SS sixteen years ago, to here.
I attempted to make the change online, but our government has out sourced it's security to an outfit called Login, which demanded a six digit number to proceed, with no way to get one.
Then I discovered that we have a local SS office, which I called and quickly talked to a real person, based here in Pensacola. Using the old routing numbers off my Idaho checks and the new ones Lola wrote down for me, he made the change smoothly.
My SS is now coming to my new bank and it may make it by the end of the month. If not I'll transfer it here and shut down my old account in the process.
One more, nearly final step, towards becoming a Floridian.
Have you ever had a Smalls slider? Yea, me either until today. It's a fast food place that serves up small burgers and seasoned fries. Shelby's friend Matt is a franchise owner of this chain and we got an invite for a free drive thru meal today, before they officially open the new Pensacola place tomorrow.
Smalls was hopping with invites like ourselves, and a young lady took our order standing by the drivers window. The food was great and they have places in Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, South Carolina and Texas. In other words, the South.
I even drank a coke, can't remember the last time I did that, and the sliders had pickles, which I normally don't eat, but they were great.
Here's the double:
I'm adding Raspberries and Mango Chunks to my afternoon mocktails, so in addition to a straw, I add a spoon. Both are plastic, so to be somewhat environmentally friendly, I reuse them throughout the evening. Ok, I'll switch to metal spoons and straws, sheesh..
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Here's the liquids
My buddy Zinny the dog and I just pulled off another twofer walk. That's two blocks up, one over, two back and one block home. Next will be a twosquare, two up and two over. She's loving the new territory, and the exercise. So am I.
I'm on day eleven of my new sobriety, and both nurses have commented on how much better I look. I value their opinion.
Shelby's cooking a Swedish meatball meal up in the crockpot. See ya.
Well, I found me a good bank here in Pensacola. I contacted their corporate office last week from a form on their website, and a nice lady named Lola just called from the local branch, and I'll meet her tomorrow and setup my new account.
Then I'll call SS and have my benefit payment direct deposited into my new bank monthly, then Idaho and Tennessee banking will fade into the dust.
It's amazing how much I've integrated into Florida citizenry. Once I come up with the three or four hundred to license my truck, it will be complete.
I didn't see this coming, I was pretty positive that my demise would happen in that small Tennessee house on a dead-end street. I thought I would end up going the way of my three year older brother.
Dana died in a hospice after living in a locked down California nursing home, a few years back. I found out after the fact, by a letter sent from the State. I don't know if my sister was ever contacted.
What a sad way to die. I tried to rescue him from that nursing home when I lived in Idaho, but I had no support, and failed. Idaho failed shortly after that and I landed in Tennessee.
At least now, if I have a heart attack in the Cave, maybe the nurses will be over, and Amy the P/A will be visiting from the south. They can take turns doing CPR and mouth to mouth, and bring me back...
Ain't nothing like a house full of beautiful women. The nurses Chelsea and Jen are over, laughing and gossiping around the couch with Shelbs. I even ended up with an extra little dog for a walk around the block.
I carry a small green bag with a paper towel inside, tucked into my belt. I picked up three rounds of shit from those two on this latest walk. I think this is what my life has evolved to, I live in a Cave and I pickup fresh dog shit for disposal.
The girls made mocktails from a big bag of frozen berries, and I had a plate of them for dinner, out in the Cave.
I've been doing a lot of walking around our hood, and I see cool old houses, dead and thriving small businesses, and a few street people. One of my favorite groups is a few guys that sit on a front porch, listening to hip hop and smoking pot. I get a What's up old man? from them now.
It's an overcast cool day down here on the Gulf. I woke up in a weird mood and as I started my walk around the neighborhood, I settled into a badass one. If anybody had fucked with me I would have used every ounce of strength in my old body, to make them regret it.
I began thinking about all the people I've known who have bailed on me because of my addiction to alcohol, or just because I've sometimes been an asshole as a result.
I suppose I can't blame them, you get back what you put into this life, but sometimes love shines through and you are forgiven and supported. That's my case right now, I have Shelby and Riley, and his family, that's it.
I have more than a dozen grandkids who are grown and I have never met. I have family on my sisters side, including my sister, that I haven't seen in years. I have old friends who prefer lecturing to compassion, and now I want nothing to do with any of them.
I just want to get well now, back in shape, and fuck everything else.
When I die, burn me up, scatter my ashes in the desert, and pour a bottle of vodka on me.
I'm bailing now on lost friends and non caring family, deleting their contacts, and focusing on my state of being at this moment.
Shelbys got a girlfriend over, who's going through marital distress, and they're talking it out on the couch in the living room. I try to stay out of the house as much as I can at these moments, but a man needs to eat a little ice cream for lunch, and make himself a mocktail or two, so I slip in and out as peacefully as I can.
So I'm enjoying my Sunday in the Cave. Considering how my morning started, I'll take it.
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