I'm running out of keep on carrying on energy. Not well, not eating good, drinking too much, tired of being alone, and every move I make lately is hard.

The internal Parkinson's vibrations are getting stronger, it's quite disheartening.

I need to take a shower, drop my rent check off, and go shopping. If I can do those three things today, I will feel accomplished. I'm not even wasting peoples time today by sending this post out. I would just end up trashing it later.

Been looking at the drivel that has spilled onto my keyboard lately, including this, and I don't know what's going on. Sorry. Maybe I should just shut this blog down and stop making a fool of myself.

Update: accomplished my morning goals: rent paid and shopping done. I have determined that the most important person in the world to me is my son Riley, even though he just endures me. I also have two brand new twin great grand kids from Taylor.

I talked to Daniel this morning about the reality of chucking this and moving into a nursing home, and he successfully talked me down from that position.

Went to the local county fair here in town, on a Saturday. What a lame ass fair, just sayin, I've been to the Puallup Fair many times with Riley, and this is like a kindegarten class.

I think my nephew Brian, driven by a force out of our control, picked a perfect gift for Ariella. It was a stuffed cat in a sleeping bag. I was right there as she opened it, and the ohhhs and ahhhs to her reaction, were palpable.

Jess just posted some recent shots showing Ariella holding the cat, so I grabbed them. She said the baby loves it, and plays with it every day.

I then texted Jess reminding her of the teddy bear I was given on my first birthday, and I still have to this day, over decades of living. She gets it.

My grand-daughter Taylor just delivered her twins in an emergency c-section. They're premature so they are in ICU, but they will be just fine. She's living up in Minnesota and doing well, but I'm waiting till next summer to go visit.

The Hamilton last name continues to expand. I have 14 grandkids, eight of them I have never met. They are all adults now, and some of them may have kids of their own.

Anyway, welcome to the world girls!

I have spent the morning feeding peanuts to my little buddy Chipper.

I went to the Lawrence County Fair today. Ten dollars to park, seven to get in. The place was mostly food trucks (I had a barbecue sandwich) and rides. It was not busy at 1100 and a lot of the operators looked bored and were messing with their phones.

I was told there was a livestock building so I checked that out. Turns out it was all about rabbits. I saw a few that were really cute. I wonder what would be involved in raising a rabbit as a pet.

And what in the hell, is a Funnel Cake? No thanks.

Click the photo below to see the shots I took, if you like.

I was laying under my blanket this morning, watching TikTok on the tablet, when a very strange thing occurred.

My brain went blank. I didn't know where I was, or how I got here. I shut down the tablet and started reassembling my memory.

I rolled over and saw stuff that looked familiar, but I couldn't make any connections. I finally figured out that I was in Lawrenceburg, TN, but how did I get here? I literally could not remember.

I finally put it all together: I came here with Steph from Driggs, ID, thinking I was going to start a new life, with her grandkids and family.

It's interesting to reconstruct something like that in your head, and then say to yourself Man, I sure fucked that up.

Anyway, that was damned weird. I sure hope it's not a sign of something going on in my head. Living here is depressing enough, but I still want to remember it.

I didn't leave the safety and comfort of my big white blanket until noon yesterday. I spent half the time sleeping, the rest was just enjoying the fact that I wasn't offending anyone, or having people put up with me. It's my safe spot in my little house on a dead-end street.

Parkinson's is really kicking my ass lately. When I self medicate, I don't notice it so bad.

The Fair's in town, think I'll leave the blanket and mosey up there tomorrow.

Here is a set of 65 photos from Ariella's first birthday party:

Here's some video of the day:

I hit the Shiloh Inn hot tub and steam room early this morning, finally got Brian down there, and we planned our day.

First stop, the restaurant next to the hotel, for breakfast. Brian was trying to be conservative because folks around here serve big meals, so he ordered french toast. I ordered some of their in house hash, potatoes and eggs.

The french toast was this giant round thing, and there were two of them. My meal was quite tasty, thank you.

The remaining french toast, and a dollop of my corned beef hash were than placed into a food box.

And then we drove to downtown Portland. Been hearing all this shit about Portland being messed up, so we went. I have a history with this town, so I was curious.

Ya know, I got a pretty good vibe from the place. I had the window down letting everything flow.

The downtown was pretty together, the homeless camps were in the outskirts, but an occasional tent can be found.

We spotted one on the right, with a turnout area, and we stopped. There was a toothless guy with a big smile and I reached over and clicked the horn.

As he acknowledged and approached, I grabbed the food box from the back seat and handed it to him, saying it's french toast and hash. He was excited and grateful, calling down into his tent for his partner to join him.

We did Portland, and continued on, smiling.

Our intention was to arrive back at Riley's in the early evening and settle down in the camper. But in the meantime, we had time.

The plan was to travel due north, avoid all the big city shit along I-5, slide into Washington and take the back roads to Orting.

At a pit stop I chatted with a local and he directed us to the side highway system that rolls north and south, avoiding I-5.

So with Brian driving, and me navigating, we pulled it off! Never touched I-5 again, dodged all traffic issues, rolled through beautiful country that reminded me of Tennessee, and landed us back at the trailer.

Brian and I are in Salem, OR staying at the Shiloh Inn. Great room, with a hot tub and a sauna downstairs. I've been there twice now, Brian once.

We had an amazing fish and chips meal at McGrath's Fish House, I subbed for mashed potatoes.

The meal was preceded with two terrific crab cakes... but I digress.

We left Astoria this morning and mosied down Hwy 101 to Seaside, where we had breakfast.

Then we hit Cannon Beach, walked out to Haystack Rock, and I put my feet in the Pacific Ocean. Bucket item checked.

Tomorrow we head North along I-5 and see what lies ahead.