Ok, I think it's time to crank the transparency level of my life, up to full. I've been blogging now for decades, it is my expression of being. I don't know why I've done this, but I'm very glad I have, and I've left so much out.
So if you really give a shit about who I am, read on. Otherwise swipe me away.
I'm almost 79 fucking years old. I hope you all make it this far.
I am a bisexual man and I have cheated on every woman in my life. I deserve to be where I am, and I apologize to every lady that ever loved me.
Most men cheat on their women, with other women. I kind of mixed it up...
I am now alone and old. At this point all I have left is honesty.
I have tried many, many times to deal with my alcohol addiction, that started when I was a teenager. I succeeded on a few rare occasions, but now I sit here knowing that I failed.
I have bottomed out. Ending the alcohol consumption in my life, so I can become a better man, a better father and grandfather, has run it's fucking course. I realize now it's over.
I feel my body failing on me, and I have to face reality. I'm not a young man making the decision to be sober, and changing my life for the better.
I find that making myself a drink, smoking a bowl, and being creative are the only things left that give me any sort of satisfaction or pleasure.
Tomorrow I'm hanging out with Shelby and her new family. I'm looking forward to it greatly, but I feel the tide has turned.
I've pretty much fucked up every opportunity in my life to succeed. It is what it is, I am where I am.
I finally accept the reality that I am very old. I feel my past loved ones around me, on the other side, and I've lived longer than most of them.
My grand-fathers WW1 American flag is within touching distance. My grand-mothers blankets still surround me. The teddy bear from my birth sits nearby, and watches me.
So here's the deal, just let me be! Drinking and smoking are the only things that give me pleasure anymore. Women, men, and driving are gone!
I find pleasure in living anywhere I can now. Visits from dogs, a double Fish Filet from McDonald's, a walk downtown and a good time at Dan and Shelby's house...
Other than that, life is pretty fucked up. But I'm damned happy I lived!
I guarantee you, if you have the moxie to watch this entire slideshow of images taken at the downtown Pensacola market today, by a drone that was hovering in front of me, you will throw up!
I worked hard with ChatGPT this afternoon, to convince the openAI Chibi Generator to put some text at the bottom, to no avail. So all I ended up with was image after image of me at the downtown market, bare chested.
Never got any text at the bottom! So, if you're willing to be subjected to this shit show, click below. If it turns you on, email me...
I had a nice morning here in sunny Pensacola. I tucked my loud orange flowered shirt into the belt of my shorts, and walked bare shirted to the downtown market, with my Sony and zoom lens strapped over my shoulder, and never put the shirt on.
There I was at a damned busy day before Easter Market, armed with a real camera, wearing just shorts and my Tilly hat.
It wasn't a great shoot, but I grabbed 15 shots, no adjustments, then brought them down to .webp, and put them into OMJShow as a folder under General Images, called pmarket.
Oh, and I ate a great tamale, with the spicy hot sauce...
I had a nice afternoon, with an old friend, Homer Jolly. He's a famous artist, zoo designer, and great guy. Shelby has known him for years, and I have been priveleged to hang in his circle the last few years.
He came into my Cave today, settled into the other comphy chair, we got stoned, and had a great talk.
I introduced him to my AI creations, and he showed me his current work. He has to enforce his copyrights way more than mine, because he makes his living off his art. Me, not so much.
It was great to see him settle into a blanket on the chair that my grandmother knitted from scratch, many years ago.
I feel my family around me now, as I reach the final stage.
Here was ChatGPT's opinion of Homer:
Homer Jolly is a Pensacola-based artist and creative director known for his distinctive mixed-media and digital artwork. His creations often celebrate the local culture and scenery of Pensacola, blending hand-painted torn paper collages with digital designs to produce textured, vibrant pieces.
Homer's portfolio includes both original artworks and prints, many of which highlight Pensacola's landmarks and coastal charm. His work has been featured in publications such as Downtown Crowd, VIP Pensacola, and Coastal Living. Notably, he has undertaken large-scale projects for venues like The Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo and The Wine Bar on Palafox.
Beyond his artistic endeavors, Homer serves as the Owner and Creative Director of HomerJollyDesign, a marketing and design firm he has led since 2011. His academic background includes studies at Mississippi State University.
It was great to have the man in the Cave today!
Shelby want's to get me out of the house this Easter weekend. I appreciate the offer, but I didn't do Thanksgiving or Christmas with her new family, at my own choice.
They're talking about taking the camper to a campground by a play park of some sort that 13 year old Anna would enjoy. So I have two choices, go with them, or stay at their house and hang out with the four dogs.
The camper ain't big, and I'm leaning towards watching the dogs. If I went with them, so would the dogs. Two big ol black ones, and two little ones.
And I would have to be alcohol free, because they are. I'm trying to deal with this lifelong addiction, and I usually succeed when I have a reason to. Lately I haven't...
So, I don't know how this Easter is going to unfold.
Here's a couple from the past:
My OldManJim AI image creation is totally out of control! Yesterday I had myself in Drag, and Sad, because I am. Today I had myself eating a double fish filet and fries at McDonald's, because I just walked there and did.
I have to laugh at the request for white tarter sauce, dripping from my face. It don't look like Tarter Sauce to me...
I've told this story before, but why not tell it again, because it is good.
In the later Seventies, I had a reputation as a hotshot IBM Sys 3 RPG programmer. Business across the S.F. Bay Area was booming for me, but Interocean Steamship offered me my going rate of $65 an hour to create a system for them, and I said Yes.
I became an integral part of their organization as we built the new system from the ground up. There were more than a hundred users in house driving my code in live time, as we communicated with Long Beach, CA and Seattle, Wa, in real time.
This was before any American knew what a Modem was.
Long story short, I created a new version for them, as the IBM PC was sliding in. It was great code, to run on their IBM Sys 38. Took me two years.
And then the chick who took over as DP manager from me, lost all of the code in a data center accident. They had nothing, dead in the water...
When I heard about it, I was training two very lovely ladies how to write code in this business.
One was a beautiful blond, that we banged occasionally, and the other I don't remember.
But we walked into that broken major business in the early shipping business, on a Christmas Eve.
The ladies kicked into gear and told them they needed to hire every code transcriber they can find, on Christmas Eve, to re-create the foot tall pile of printed source code, that I wasn't supposed to have, btw..
It happened, the company recovered, and the cute blond that I had hit on while there, kissed me good on my last visit.
I'm at a really strange place in my long life. I'm used to living alone, did it for years in Tennessee, but sometimes I miss a partner. I don't deserve it one bit, but a girlfriend would be nice. Hell, even a boyfriend would be nice at this point.
But I know neither are going to happen. Hell, I don't even have a vehicle!
I've settled down into what I call survival/creative mode. I've been here many times before, and I know it well.
I keep myself alive, I don't start drinking or smoking until after 1200, or until the dogs leave.
I find satisfaction and reason for being, in the things I create, and which I share with the world.
Words don't get more honest then that...
When you don't have dogs to love on, you create Art. I mean, this just makes you want to fuck the old guy, right! Or at least click on him...
I just did the weirdest thing this morning, and it all started yesterday at the Dollar store. I was out of milk but I had some shredded wheat at the bottom of a box, and a few berries in the fridge, to make me some breakfast today.
All they had at the store were large one gallon jugs of milk. I don't drink that much milk and I wasn't going to walk home carrying that thing. So I bought a 12 ounce strawberry Rockin' protein shake instead.
This is what I just had for breakfast...
This is what I used to eat: Breakfast 2018.
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