Ok, I'm writing this account of my run in with the law here in Lawrenceburg, TN.
It was early December on a Saturday and my goal was to walk up to the Square and take pictures of the Christmas parade as it rolled into downtown. I was in great shape and walking a lot so it felt like the natural thing to do.
Daniel dropped by and we drank a couple of cocktails and then we decided to go out to the Brass Lantern for a couple more before dropping me off at the Square. Before I left his vehicle in town we had stopped by the liquor store and consumed one of those small bottles they sell, behind some buildings next to the Square. You can see where this is going... Look, sometimes friends can be bad influences but I'm a grown ass man and I take responsibility for everything I do.
Daniel went home and I wondered out into the crowd with the Sony strapped around my neck, my DJI Pocket 2 in my pocket and my sexy black cowboy hat on my head.
I was pretty smacked at this point, I remember giving my DJI to a young guy to take some video of the parade and looking at the footage later he caught me leaning up against the wall and his family thought I worked for the local newspaper. How funny.
Anyway, I had just learned that the Square had a real life sit down bar that served hard liquor so of course I had to drop by after the parade. It gets fuzzy after that.
I can handle my booze as long as I eat something, when I don't I get real dizzy and lightheaded. That's how I ended up in the ER a few months back. That night I was making my way home, dizzy as hell, somehow I managed to cross a busy highway without getting killed, and collapsed against the wall of a house about a block and a half from home.
All of a sudden three badass dudes appeared on an incline in front of me. The bigger guy in the middle was shouting and swearing at me, telling me to get up and off his property, obviously trying to impress the guys on either side. If I had landed at a more compassionate house, I would not be telling this story.
I managed to get up, make it out to the sidewalk, and continue home. Picture me, I'm well dressed, expensive camera around my neck, a fine cowboy hat on my head and staggering like crazy down a sidewalk on a busy highway.
I was a block from home when the cops rolled up, handcuffed me and took me to jail for pubic intoxication. Man, a courtesy ride home would have been nice, but...
Jail was interesting, I haven't spent real time in a cell since I was eighteen serving time for unpaid hitch-hiking tickets in Oroville, CA. I had to put on these funky clothes and sleep on a pad in a small little space with characters I didn't know.
Before that they took all of my stuff and put it in a bag. They emptied my wallet out which contained $600 in twenties which they fed through a machine and said I would get a debit card.
While I was standing at the counter some guy next to me was on the phone with his bail bondsman, saw I had cash, and handed me his phone. I cut a deal with the guy and bond was made. They released me at 0130 in the morning, and I walked home, again.
That's my story as real as I can convey it...