The new window mount for my DJI Pocket 2 arrived from Amazon today. I just did a test run up to the park, fined tuned the setup and it works great! It's funny, when I arrived at duck landing, the ducks didn't budge from their hangout because I had already fed them earlier.

Tomorrow I will make the feed run and record it from the entrance of the park.

I finally trimmed up that out of control goatee that I've been carrying around for years, especially around my mouth, and cut the bottom off. You can now find my lips and kiss me if so inclined.

I notice my neck area is pretty saggy, the long goatee hid that, but I am an old man, it is what it is, and perhaps adds some character to a face not seen for awhile.

I just had breakfast at Crockett's Mill restaurant up in Davy Crockett park. It's an all you can eat family style buffet, served at your table, open from 0800 to 0945 to accommodate the church goers, served only on Sunday.

Biscuits, white gravy, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, baked apples, breakfast potatoes and grits. I ordered eggs over easy, thinking it would replace the scrambled, but no, got them both. My waitress asked me how many eggs and I said two, then she winked at me and said go for three.

Several times she returned to my table to see if I wanted more of anything. Ahh, no sweety, this is plenty :-) The food was delicious, cost $15 a head, and would have been perfect for two people, as the food is served on separate plates, and you share. There were a few large families there, having a great time.

Then I fed my ducks...


I'm watching the Steve Jobs movie on NetFlix tonight. I was writing RPG 3 code for the IBM System 64 in San Francisco around 1980 and Apple Computer was making waves. For the heck of it, I mossied down the Bay and talked to them about opportunities.

We didn't hit it off, and I continued my lucrative job in the City. I wouldn't say I really held a grudge from that meeting but I dove into the IBM PC world a year latter, and to this day, I have never owned an Apple product. Ever!

All I have to do is pull my truck into a parking spot at the lake boat launch now, and my ducks come running towards their feeding spot. I swear they recognize my vehicle. That's pretty smart!

Unfortunately, the are starting to bicker among themselves about who gets to hang out directly in front of me, thus assuring the best feeding spot. Which again, points to their intelligence.

One slight twist of fate, a different turn down the road, and none of what you currently perceive your life to be, would be.

There are infinite twists in my life that would have prevented me from meeting Jenny Arcuri, and creating Becky. Even more twists that would have brought Becky to the point of being in the position of having fourteen children.

But that's what life is, a moment to moment series of moves and reactions, that dictate history.

Which means, my friends, we need to realize the possibilities, and take responsibility for, every move of importance we make.

Currently, I sit here and lament the absence of Stephs family in my life, because I was offended by a small act, and was an asshole in the process...


Life expectancy in the United States is now 81 for women, and 76 for men. That's assuming you live a normal life, stay married to the same person, have kids and grandkids, work hard, go to church, blah, blah, blah...

Then there are the ones that live fast, and die young. You know who they are.

Finally, we have the old hard cores. People who have lived crazy lives, booze, smoking, and drugs up the ass, yet they're still alive and kicking.

For example: Willie Nelson(89), Bob Dylan (81), David Crosby (81), Mick Jagger (79), Keith Richards (78), Debbie Harry (77), Jim Hamilton (76).

It's like they have a genetic and spiritual disposition to survive, no matter what they do to their bodies and minds, over the years.

As I was writing about my many adventures in Mexico, I recalled my four trips to Hawaii. It makes me realize what a crazy ass life I have led.

I was a computer software developer and crazy traveler. I could be amazingly creative, and then have the money to do whatever I wanted.

I vaguely remember one summer I spent three weeks in Mexico and as I was walking to the plane to go back to the States, the police pulled me out of the line to question me because I was so dark from the sun. I convinced them I was American and they let me get on the plane. Before the days of passports...

As soon as I arrived at SFO, I flew to Hawaii for two weeks. It's amazing I didn't croak from skin cancer decades ago.

As my health declines and my body wears out, I am faced with a serious decision. I moved here four years ago and have since put a pretty good dent in my savings. Two Caribbean cruises, a trip to Caye Caulker island off Belize, multiple long road trips, just living life to the fullest.

Now, I have to decide if I want to back off and extend my existence out as long as I can, or just go for it and live, and ideally die just before I go broke.

I suppose if I hunkered down, did nothing but live a minimal existence on my Social Security, dipping into my remaining savings only when absolutely necessary, I could last into my eighties. But what if my body don't make it? Life wasted!

It's a tough choice...


Friday, 10/28/2022

 • 0800: Call the local voter registration office to see if I need a card to actually vote on Nov 8. I voted in 2020 and I have an ID number, but never got a card. ✔

 • 0900: Drive out to the new voting location just to make sure I know where it is. ✔

 • 0930: Feed my ducks. ✔

 • 1000: Pick up a bag of lemons at Cash Saver for my morning hot drink. ✔

 • 1100: Get a couple carnitas tacos from the taco truck. ✔

 • 1200: Put some cash on my local debit card, thinking about getting some tires for my truck. Also get forty one dollar bills in case I'm here and I get trick or treaters. 𐄂

 • 1230: Pay my rent early. ✔

 • 1300: Head to the Wishy Washy and do my laundry. 𐄂

 • 1400: Check around town for tire options. 𐄂


I normally do my laundry around 0600, so I'll stick to that schedule next week. And, I'm rethinking cash out of my stash, so holding off on tires for the moment.

I was watching a NetFlix documentary last night called Expedition Happiness (highly recommend) and the young couple were eating street tacos in the heart of Mexico. It brought back great memories so I knew I had to have the old Mexican lady working the food truck, make me a couple carnitas (pork) tacos today. Ummm...

btw: I have been to Mexico at least six times, including a drive out of Texas, through the heart of the country, a ferry across the Sea of Cortez, and back up the Baja Peninsula.

The offical count is seven ducks and one goose, and I'm starting to name them.

I think I understand the chemistry I have with my ducks, they have no teeth. Today when I drove up they recognized my truck and came running, and swooped in on me when I sat down. There are about eight of them, plus one goose.

The feeding was frantic, they were really hungry and often they would miss the seeds in the palm of my hand, and put my fingers in their mouth. It doesn't hurt and I just keep on moving from duck to duck.

The morning was chilly so I'm assuming they need these seeds to burn calories. I have approval from park ranger Rachel to do this, so I guess I'll keep it going as long as I can this Fall and Winter. I can get a 35lb bag of wild bird food from Tractor Supply for about $15, so it ain't going to break me.

I'll grab some more video tomorrow.

I heard a great line on General Hospital today; You're either ripping his clothes off, or ripping his heart out. I like it. Why am I watching GH? Because I used to be a soap opera junky, that's why.

The same characters that used to be on the show decades ago, are still on. The amount of plastic surgery they have had to go through to keep their characters look, is stunning. And the younger guys are all scruffed and wearing lipstick.

I can't believe this show is still on.

btw: The mask is Daniels, he just bought it off Amazon, for some strange reason...


As I was texting with my daughter Becky last night, I proposed meeting up at Skoge and Grants house in Sacramento. She said, Sherry? I said yea!

It made me realize that in the fifty one years that Skoge and I have been friends, Becky was in her life a lot down in California.

The three of us even lived together for a while in a great house out on Bethel Island. That was the place where the Mindset PC clone company flew a helicopter up from the south bay to replace the pre-production computer I was writing graphics software for, because the one I had, was dead. That was around 1983, it landed in the field right next to our house, and it was surreal.

I had lunch with Crissinda at Omega's up in Columbia today. She was all decked out in her parole officer uniform, packing a handgun on her hip, and she looked great.

We got all caught up over some good food, then I went and met with my neurologist. I've been saying I have Parkinsons for some time now, but she's not sure about that. She did some tests, watched me walk, and thinks at this point it's something called Essential Tremor. Then she bumped my dosage up for the drug I've been taking to manage it.

Then my daughter Becky texted me. I have been out of touch with her for forty years. She sounded great, upbeat, and said she would love to see me. We will text more this evening. To any of my grand-children that helped make this happen, thank you, and stay tuned.

So, has God sent a representative to every habitable planet in the universe, and had a book about the event written? Do aliens even have books? What audacity christians have, to think that their theory about jesus is gold, and this is far from the only religion on our little planet.

We have our biggest national holiday based on it, commercialized to the max. What a joke! This is why I spent last christmas drunk on a cruise boat in the middle of the Caribbean.

The reason I write this is because on my trip to the park this morning I passed church after church here in Lawrenceburg, TN, with packed parking lots. The people around me really buy into this.

OMFG. I actually believe in a higher power, just not this jesus nonsense. I have written before about the time I was driving my old car down a back road in Kent, WA, homeless and broke, looking for a tree to crash into, when a voice spoke to me.

It was a male voice that said I'm giving you some power. All of a sudden a bolt of energy entered the top of my head and flowed through my body. It was amazing and changed my life. I got back on my feet and started to succeed in life again.

But it wasn't this long haired jesus guy, nailed to a cross and resurrected...

Comment from Skoge: I've told you before, haven't I, that when I was 8 or 9 I died? Interesting experience. God is not a human being, but an emotional being... pure LOVE. God doesn't judge us when we die, it can't, being Pure Love. In our attempts to grow closer to that love we judge ourselves and plan the circumstances we will have to endure the next time we come back, to learn to love. I was shown things to come, told I'd never get married, so if I wanted a child I'd have to do it alone. They showed me a device that was flat with a screen and you could ask it any questions, any thing, and it would answer.

Things I Don't:

Gamble, invest or donate. Eat steak, bacon, chicken, pizza, candy or ice cream. Drink sodas, milk or power drinks. Smoke cigarettes, have sex, exercise or take long walks. Go to church, libraries, theaters or senior centers. Kill animals, mow lawns, or play games. Have a partner, or good health.

This was an interesting exercise, I suggest you give it a try.

Daniel and I were taking guns apart this afternoon, and fortunately, neither one of us was shot.

The park workers called me the Duck Whisperer today as I fed my buddies. I like it. I actually managed to pet the one little aggressive guy with the white fluffy thing on his head. He freaked at first, probably never had a human hand touch his back before, but he quickly returned to my hand. These are wild birds that I watch run from people, but they recognize and like me. I like being liked.

I've had a busy day today, on top of feeding my ducks. I ate at the breakfast buffet in the Square and I don't plan on eating for the rest of the day. I bought ice, and I'm currently taking advantage of my pricey NetFlix plan. And hell, it's not even noon!

I'm falling apart, and I have no one to help me get back together. Last night I made a fool of myself, trying to contact my long lost daughter Becky. I won't do that again.

I'm drinking too much and the Parkinson's is making me move like an old man. I went to the dock to feed my ducks today, and there was a ton of people there. They must of thought the old man was crazy, walking around shaking my bag, trying to get the ducks attention. When they zeroed in on me and walked out of the water and started eating out of my hand, the folks were stunned.

My neighbor usually drops by after work, we shoot the shit, he drinks his fire ball, and I don't remember him leaving. I have no idea what the weekend holds, I'm having lunch with C and seeing my doctor on Monday, no clue what happens after that.

Halloween is the following Monday and I'm just going to get forty one dollar bills from my bank, instead of candy. If I get any kids I'll just put two bucks in their basket. I will probably have $40 the next morning.

There you go, sums up my life, thanks for reading...


Becky, my daughter, where are you? Do you follow my blog? I really need to connect with you, before I die.

Now you may not want to, I understand, but you have created thirteen childrem, that from what I see, are amazing.

I've met a few of them, and I love them all.

I am so sorry for everything.

What if I made a trip out to California, would you see me?

I am ready to do so, now.

I'm heading up to Columbia next Monday for an afternoon visit with my neurologist. Before that, I'm meeting my friend Crissinda for lunch at Omega's, a hole in the wall diner, that has some amazing reviews.

Crissinda is a parole officer up there and I'm trying to figure out a petty crime that would get me on her list (just kidding :-)

I told her to pick anyplace in town, and she chose this one. So Monday looks great, meet my sweet friend, have some great southern cooking, and chat with my Parkinson's doctor, Amanda.

Hmmm, for an old sorry ass, I'm still able to connect with smart women.

I was reading today that over 1100 towns and villages in Ukraine will not have heat this winter, and probably very little food. Where the hell do I get off bitching about my life?

I have a roof, gas heat, and food. If I wanted to spend a week or two in Cancun, I could in a heartbeat.

My truck is still running great, but I wouldn't submit it to a high mileage trip. As long as it gets me to the park to feed my ducks, to Krogers for supplies, and the liquor store is only two blocks away, I can survive the upcoming winter, once again.

I was eating breakfast at Pat's Cafe this morning and overheard the locals complaining about the 20 degree temps. I thought about living at 6500 feet at the base of the Grand Tetons in Idaho four years ago, heading to my bus driving job, at forty below. That's -40 folks, these people would absolutely lose their minds.

Everything is relative, my friends.

I shared a catfish dinner in a church last night with two lovely ladies and a pretty eight year old girl, who is into karate.

I fed my duck buddies again, calling them from their hangout at the dock by shaking my bag of wild bird seed, to the amazement of onlookers.

I thought I had left one of my debit cards at the liquor store, but they didn't have it, so I assumed someone palmed it off the counter. Called my bank in Idaho, shut it down and ordered a new one. Found it in a shirt pocket an hour later.

My brain is going South while my health is going East, dropping into the Atlantic.

I put a foolish ad on some Facebook marketplaces, offering myself up to any local woman who would want to hang out with my sorry ass. Took it down later and shutdown my FB account.

Now I'm hunkered down in my little house, trying to stay warm during a Tennessee cold front.

How was your day?

Some would say I need to get a life, but probably not. I do things, I wash my dishes and make my bed every day. I watch TikTok in the morning, NetFlix in the afternoon and feed my buddies in the park at noon.

There are some things I haven't been doing lately, like sweeping the leaves off my living room floor that have blown in during the day. I want my chipmunks to feel comfortable when they come in for peanuts. Also, I haven't been eating out in the company of other people, way over-rated, I think.

I keep telling myself I need to take a road trip, but the road isn't calling me and my internal GPS is broken. I've also tried to stop blogging lately, but that aint workin.

I made it out to the New Prospect Fire Department fish fry yesterday, it's their annual fund raiser and I know I was there last year, and maybe the year before. For $15 you get a plate with a lot of home cooked catfish, hushpuppies, fries, slaw, white beans, a drink and dessert. Delicious.

Next Tuesday the famous Swamp Johns food truck out of Florence, AL is doing a fish fry at a church up on Springer Road. I'll be there. I have determined the best thing about living in the South, maybe the only thing, is the catfish.

I need a road trip. I've been talking with my grand-daughter Shelby about making a trip to see Taylor's new babies, but nothing solid yet.

Cold weather is rolling into Tennessee in the next few days, and I want no part of it. I hate the cold, I remember mornings back in Driggs, ID when I went to work driving a bus at 40 below.

One winter Steph was back in Washington for a few months, and Piper and I just hunkered down. One of the darkest points in my life, but I still drove the fucking bus every day.

I am now heading into my fifth winter here. Only had noticeable snow a couple of times, so I should not be bitching, but I am.

So, where should I go? I have a lunch date with my friend Crissinda on the 24th, right before my neurologist visit in Columbia, but that's ten days away.

I guess I'll update my destination as it unfolds, if it happens, here...


I got a document in the mail today from the outfit down in Texas that throws a gas royalty check my way, once in a while.

It was looking for in-depth information about my brother, who died earlier this year. I think they were trying to transfer his royalties to his next of kin, but I know nothing at this point.

I emailed his last wife when I found out he had died, but I never heard back. I assume she is also gone.

How sad that families can become so detached. I can't even name all of my grandkids, much less their kids.

Maybe one day a relative of mine will receive the same letter.

I've had a hell of a life, and while I often suffer from short term memory loss, I remember most everything. Some things I wish I could forget, but it doesn't work that way.

As I sit here in my last days I am grateful for the good stuff, and emotionally crushed by the bad.

I have ended up a good man. I care about other people and try to help them when I can. I don't lie, cheat or steal.

I don't know what to do next. My days consist of NetFlix, trips to the park to feed my birds around noon, and getting wasted in the evening with my neighbor Daniel.

The last two days I have hit local places for breakfast in the early morning. Today I went to Pat's Cafe, first time, and had eggs over easy, hash browns, sausage, and biscuit's smothered in gravy. Ten bucks, gotta love the South...


I'm really depressed, what an interesting state this is. I have major life regrets, that cannot be undone.

I have landed alone, and I'm still an alcoholic, despite many noble attempts at sobriety.

My health sucks. Not sure what's going on, but I know Parkinsons is right up there, followed by Dementia.

I live in a little house on a dead end street in southern Tennessee. I have no job, no initiative, and my finest moments are feeding the ducks in the Park.

Yesterday I stuck a thousand bucks in twenties in my wallet just to make me feel good, then I had a hell of a time getting my debit card out to buy some booze, because it was so tight.

I am 76 years old. I bet I'm older than most of you reading this post. I should have died many times during my fucked up life, but I have not.

So, to my few remaining friends, thanks for putting up with me! I know I've been an interesting and challenging friend, and I love you all.

I have decided that I want to be euthanized and composted. I just read about a woman, suffering from incurable PTSD, who was put down, like we do our old pets. That's a good way to go, give me a couple shots.

There are a few States now where human composting is legal. Your body is converted into a cubic yard of compost over a period of 45 days.

Washington, where my boy Riley lives, is one of those States. They could put me into a planter out back and grow some flowers on top.

Hmmm... Beats dying a painful death and either getting burned up or buried in a box.

Fed my ducks again today: More Feeding.

Yesterday I stuck a thousand bucks in twenties in my wallet just to make me feel good, then I had a hell of a time getting my debit card out to buy some booze, because it was so tight.

If anyone tries to lighten that load, my sexy little shotgun is a hair trigger away from creating a very large hole.

My ultimate goal is to be euthanized and composted.

Fed my ducks again today: More Feeding.

Killing time, until I die. Spinning my wheels before they lock up. Might as well eat a pulled pork grilled cheese sandwich at the new Hinie's north of town, in the meantime.

It wasn't quite what I was expecting, tasty, but very light on the meat and cheese. Not substansive enough for $12. I left a comment on their FB page about it, and they said it was a new person on the flat top. Issue solved, I'll be back.

My first boss in the para-transit business was a guy named Lloyd Hooley. I drove up to HopeLink in Bellevue, WA from Kent one afternoon in the early nineties, armed with just my printed driving record.

Meeting Lloyd was a shock as he was a burn victim, but we hit it off and I ended up driving for him, and Hopelink, for years.

We also became friends and he told me the story of how he got burned. He was a California State Highway Patrol trooper down in the Bay Area. He and his partner had pulled a car over on one of the narrow two lane bridges in the southern bay.

They were both sitting in their vehicle, lights flashing, when they were rear-ended by a drunk driver. It burst into flames, Lloyd managed to dive over the bridge, on fire, down into the bay. His partner died.

Lloyd eventually married one of my fellow drivers, can't remember her name but she was a sweety. I went to work for ATC VanCom down in Kent, the largest paratransit outfit on the West Coast, and moved on.

Here's to you buddy, I hope your life went well!

Update: I've been thinking about Lloyd all day since writing this post. I got my commercial license with HopeLink, he was my mentor. I quit smoking by walking three miles to work every morning at 0300. He would drive by and offer me a lift in the morning, I never took him up on it, even in the snow.

I went on to become the first Employee of the Year for ATC Vancom and eventually the lead supervisor. I trained eight new supervisors during that run. I owe everything to Lloyd!

This is my bed. The larger blanket belonged to my grandmother and it kept me pretty warm last night as the temps start to drop. Today I put that colorful thing on top just to cut the edge. It was crocheted by my grandmother.

I hope they somehow continue in the family when I'm gone. (these are your great-great grandmothers blankets, grandkids...)

Update: Shelby just claimed them!

I took some of my wild bird seed up to the park today and fed the ducks, right out of my hand.

Here's another video: More Feeding.

I was chatting with a stranger at a restaurant today about keys, and I told him I only had four. Then he walked me over to his work vehicle and showed me his key collection. He said he uses all of them.

I drove along Hwy 20 in Summertown, TN during their annual yard sale today. I didn't stop because I don't need anymore possessions, got too many as it is.

I put a bunch of the few remaining domain names I own, up for sale today. They all have code on them, i.e. functional websites, but none of them have stuck up against the internet wall, instead sliding down into a puddle on the floor.

I will eventually have just four websites: my two blogs, along with RouteQue and Jimazon. I'm keeping those last two because I use them and like them.

And then I'm done. It's been quite a programming adventure for 53 years. I still have my mainframe back in the office/bedroom, but I never turn it on anymore, just using my laptop here at the table.

My Will is specific: grand-daughter Shelby gets my computers, Riley gets my truck and stash, Jessica gets my phone and watch, Daniel gets my furniture, Crissinda gets my TV's and Brian gets my cameras. There are still a few things left around so if you're interested, drop on by when I'm gone.

I stated in the Will that I wanted to get buried but I may just buy one of those local cremation packages for a grand and call it done. When you're gone from the body it don't matter what happens to it.

Gee, what an uplifting post this is! I'm just facing reality and who knows, I may outlive everyone, but I don't think so...


Our new Animal Shelter opens here in Lawrenceburg, TN in about two or three weeks. I just got off the phone with the two ladies that run it, and have officially offered my services as a volunteer dog walker.

Their location is right along the back road I've been driving all Summer to work, about four minutes away.

I told them about having to put Piper down, that I love animals, but I'm just not ready to commit to another pet. They truly seemed excited about my wanting to volunteer, and now I'll just wait to hear from them.

This could be amazing!

btw, here's my previous two interactions with them:

Rescue Pup

Kitty Karma

The weather in Tennessee has been great since I got back from the Pacific Northwest, beautiful clear skies, perfect temps. I grabbed a little footage up at David Crockett Park today:

I grabbed some cute shots of birds up in David Crockett park today.

I had to make a really hard choice today about my two blogs, and all of my websites.

I've really been in rollback mode lately, writing a post in the afternoon and then waking up the next day, reading it, and sending it to the trash.

The worst part of that is that I sent the post link to my small band of followers, you know who you are, and now it points to dead air.

Today I got the yearly bill from my hosting outfit, IONOS, and it was using a debit card I had to take down recently. I could have bailed on all of this website stuff by just doing nothing. Within a few days, everything would have died.

I chose to keep things alive. I hooked up with a great company rep on the phone and we installed a new card, with an updated address.

I was telling the guy how I ended up with IONOS when I was back in Idaho more than a decade ago. I started BusDriverJim with an outfit down in Utah Mormon land, called BlueHost. They ran a script that detected every site that dropped an F-bomb, and started giving them shit. You can guess what I said!

So here we are, I'm still blogging and I'm in the process of backing off a lot of my domain names. But I need to break the pathetic habit of sending new blog post links out to my friends.

If you have read this far, thanks. This is the last new post text I will send to you. Unless you specifically ask me to. I've been looking at the hit counts for my posts, and a lot of people follow my stuff, way more then my small little contact list.

I love all of you.

I just got off a long phone conversation with Stephanie, my ex. We talked about great things but the most amazing moment came to memory as we were standing on the back deck of the company we both worked for, under an umbrella I was holding in the rain, and she looked up at me.

She was the bubbling front person for ATC Vancom as they walked in, and I was the lead transit supervisor. The look was I really love you, you know?

We were together for twenty years at least, from that moment on. She helped me raise Riley, we ended up in Teton Valley, Idaho for years, and eventually landed here in Tennessee.

We are no longer together. She is up North, loving her grand-babies, but today we had a great talk on the phone.

Everything is OK...


Grand-daughter Taylor just sent some cute shots of her twins. According to her text (Lucinda Jo is superman/tan and big headed. Lorelei Harper is Batman/pale and small headed). Here you go, very cute:

Twins run in the family. I have some twin grandkids, and my nephew Brian is a twin.

I'm running out of keep on carrying on energy. Not well, not eating good, drinking too much, tired of being alone, and every move I make lately is hard.

The internal Parkinson's vibrations are getting stronger, it's quite disheartening.

I need to take a shower, drop my rent check off, and go shopping. If I can do those three things today, I will feel accomplished. I'm not even wasting peoples time today by sending this post out. I would just end up trashing it later.

Been looking at the drivel that has spilled onto my keyboard lately, including this, and I don't know what's going on. Sorry. Maybe I should just shut this blog down and stop making a fool of myself.

Update: accomplished my morning goals: rent paid and shopping done. I have determined that the most important person in the world to me is my son Riley, even though he just endures me. I also have two brand new twin great grand kids from Taylor.

I talked to Daniel this morning about the reality of chucking this and moving into a nursing home, and he successfully talked me down from that position.

Went to the local county fair here in town, on a Saturday. What a lame ass fair, just sayin, I've been to the Puallup Fair many times with Riley, and this is like a kindegarten class.