I'm trying to be done writing pathetic posts, and I just deleted the most stupid ones. I was saying fuck the world, take my stuff and I was going to just get in my truck and drive off into the sunset.
Then Shelby told me she want's me to take her child to the beach someday, but that child doesn't exist yet.
Then I went outside this morning and my truck wouldn't start, had it towed to my mechanic and he won't be able to get to it until Friday.
Then Daniel and I just watched "Secondhand Lions" on Prime here in my little house on my big TV. The message was, live as long as you can, and die with your fucking boots on the ground!
So, I apologize to anyone that has followed this blog. Depression is real shit, but I need to get my act together and live as long as I can, for the very few people that still love me, and for the even fewer people left who would not like to see me pass away.
The only stuff that I gave away in this madness, was my main computer in the back room. It went to Hudson, my young game playing friend who wanted it. I never use it anymore to write code, and it's a good gaming box. He did a factory reset on it, and I'm cool.
I guess my truck not starting was a message from above. I woke up in the middle of the night and took down the stupid "take everything" stuff, and even killed this blog for a while.