God help me, I don't know what to do with my kitty, my baby, my partner. She's relapsed again, even worse than before I took her to the vet. I'm going to call them tomorrow and see what they say, but how long can this go on. I'm willing to spend whatever it takes to save her, but my gut is telling me she's too far gone.
She's miserable now, I see it in her eyes. What is my responsibility at this point? Do I continue to let her suffer, or do I let her go?
Update: We had a special moment last night that I wish to share. After I made this post, she moved towards the door letting me know she wanted to go outside, so I let her out onto the porch. She just plopped down and enjoyed the afternoon sun. I kept checking on her every five minutes, and one time I checked she was gone.
I found her out under the car-port by the back of my truck, sitting up proud and strong, staring out at the highway. Just like she did when she introduced herself to us eleven years ago, on our deck in the Idaho mountains. As I approached, she started to waddle down towards her secret spot along the creek, a place I've never found, and I swooped her up and brought her inside.
She drank a little water and then landed on her heating pad. She was laying on her side and I got down next to her, putting my arm under her head, and began loving on her. Suddenly she did something she never does, she put her arm up on my arm and left it there. It's like she was saying thank you for loving me. I went to bed thinking she might pass in her sleep, but she's still with me this morning!
She is now not eating, not drinking and barely moving. I just got off the phone with the vet, I told him I thought it was time, and we are ending her life today at 1445. I make this decision three days sober, I couldn't live with myself otherwise. But my heart is BROKEN!