I'm really, really disgusted and hurt. Depression is weighing me down like I'm covered in concrete. I'm doing my job checking arm bands at the pool, but I can't even make eye contact.

There's two hours left on this shift and I think I can make it, but I don't know. I have nowhere to go in this life or the ambition to do it, but the thought of staying where I'm at makes me sick.

Maybe it Is time to be mentally ill. I can't imagine anything worse at the moment.

And fuck anybody who thinks I'm a liar. If you've spent anytime reading this blog you know that I always speak the raw truth, no matter how it may embarrass me or hurt anyone.