It's an overcast cool day down here on the Gulf. I woke up in a weird mood and as I started my walk around the neighborhood, I settled into a badass one. If anybody had fucked with me I would have used every ounce of strength in my old body, to make them regret it.

I began thinking about all the people I've known who have bailed on me because of my addiction to alcohol, or just because I've sometimes been an asshole as a result.

I suppose I can't blame them, you get back what you put into this life, but sometimes love shines through and you are forgiven and supported. That's my case right now, I have Shelby and Riley, and his family, that's it.

I have more than a dozen grandkids who are grown and I have never met. I have family on my sisters side, including my sister, that I haven't seen in years. I have old friends who prefer lecturing to compassion, and now I want nothing to do with any of them.

I just want to get well now, back in shape, and fuck everything else.

When I die, burn me up, scatter my ashes in the desert, and pour a bottle of vodka on me.

I'm bailing now on lost friends and non caring family, deleting their contacts, and focusing on my state of being at this moment.

Shelbys got a girlfriend over, who's going through marital distress, and they're talking it out on the couch in the living room. I try to stay out of the house as much as I can at these moments, but a man needs to eat a little ice cream for lunch, and make himself a mocktail or two, so I slip in and out as peacefully as I can.

So I'm enjoying my Sunday in the Cave. Considering how my morning started, I'll take it.