So, the way I'm perceived in this life, is just an old drunk, and I accept that. I really wish people that care about me saw more, but it is what I have created, and deserve.

I have no idea what to do anymore. I wake up in the morning with my body vibrating like crazy. I'm really dizzy when I step out of bed and it takes everything I have to keep from passing out and hitting the floor.

I make it through the morning and have a drink at noon to calm it down. Then the alcohol becomes the culprit. I smoke a little bud, and suddenly I'm a drunken stoned loser.

What I really am is an old man trying to survive each moment, anyway I can.

btw: Shelby still likes me, and that's all that matters right now.