I had a great idea today! Find a Junior College nearby (Shelby said there is one), and enroll. No classes, but I want to join the girls soccer team.

I will say that I identify as female, and they probably won't put me on the field, but I can hang out in their locker room all day with my massive package flapping free, a portion of the time anyway. I'm sure when they all come back from practice all hot and sweaty, stripping down for the showers, it won't be flapping!

And if the school gives me any shit, I'll threaten an age discrimination case against them.

Or I could just sit on the porch with girl dogs, and watch the world drive by.